Alla Puttanesca -- FSM

As our friends know, we are devout Pastafarians (see also , and). But perhaps you are not all familiar with our particular sect & beliefs. 

Alla Puttanesca

As revealed to us by Susan B. Anchovy, we are dedicated to promoting social justice and countering misogyny, racism, and other such bigotry inside and outside of the starchy community. 

We are skeptical of stripper factories and wenches as the ultimate reward. Because that sounds like wenches are objects. So we prefer an afterlife where the beer volcano delivers locally crafted brews that can be enjoyed alongside the Holy River Zin to accompany 24-hour salty-&-tangy snacks. Wenches & pirates alike will caper to the tunes of 80's New Wave bands. Ramen.

And I'd really rather you didn't slut-shame.

We also believe that it is OK to look cute while wearing the sacred headgear. Or at any other time. So if you make your colander into a totally adorable fascinator, Ramen!